Alizwa Lupondo
Cape Town - In this era, it is a privilege to grow up in a household with both parents.
A great many men have once again given the entire population of men a bad name. Men in this country are known for either being abusers or being runners, and I don’t mean runners as in athletes – I mean runners as people who run away from their responsibilities.
They break world records! The number of single-parent households or child-headed homes has been rearing its ugly head in our societies for years, because men decide to pack and leave once they impregnate a woman.
One might say that they do this because they are not ready to be fathers or they are not financially stable to become fathers, but that’s not the case; some men just suffer from commitment issues.
The generation that came before has messed with the minds of young men, now we even get absent teen fathers. Even young men, born in the information age, fail to commit to their responsibilities of being fathers.
Where have the real men gone?
I understand that it’s hard being a father at a young age, when you still need a father yourself; when you never had a responsible father as a role model, when your own father ran away.
These are the conundrums young fathers have to deal with and before you know it, they have taken off at the speed of lightning.
My young friends, before doing something heartless and selfish like leaving the mother of your beautiful child to raise a son/daughter to fend alone, think long and hard about it.
Running has never been a solution. Some men don’t run away; no! They just choose to never accept the child as their own.
The men of this nation just seem to be letting women down every chance they get.
Yet there is a group of men, who I like to refer to as “stayers”, because they stay and man up to their responsibilities.
These men grew up in a generation of absent, messed up, and irresponsible fathers. Some were raised by single mothers with low incomes.
Yet when they were called to the stage of fatherhood, they vouched to succeed where their fathers failed. They said to themselves, I am not rich, but I will give my child the best asset that I have, which is time.
I will be there when the hour of immunisations comes, I will walk my child to school, attend sports games, and hustle to buy them their own first calculator and dictionary.
This group of exemplary fathers will stop at nothing in making sure their children do not feel the stinging darts of a father who ran away.
These are the men to emulate! They respect their women, the children they brought to this world and themselves.
Watch them, study them and learn from the stayers.
Psychology has proven that boys who grow up without a father figure are more likely to end up in trouble.
Statistics show that 85% of youth in prison have an absent father. By any definition, these stats are alarming.
There was no father at home, so they went out to the streets to find a sense of belonging.
Where have the real men gone? As children and women of this nation, we beg you to stop gender-based violence and start being part of our lives.
The most heart-breaking thing for a kid is to see their peers having fun with their fathers, while they never had the chance to even meet their father. It’s never too late – better late than never, you can still fix things with your child.
Abraham Lincoln once said: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s life in your years.”
I think that can also mean that it doesn’t matter how many years you spent with your kid, what matters the most is the memories you have made in those years.
May God continue blessing all his children and all the women in the world. Stay, my father!
Lupondo is a Grade 12 learner at Calling Academy in Stellenbosch
Cape Times
* The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.