And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the footballer who thought he had everything, the Range Rover Sport GTS-X by Overfinch.
This highly fashionable accessory for the young lout-about-town sports a supercharged, five-litre V8 engine with sports (read loud) exhaust system, re-chipped and re-mapped to deliver 429kW and 699Nm.
It'll hit 100km/h in five seconds flat - that's before you get out of the stadium car park - and will reach its top speed of 233km/h on the local bypass.
Nobody will ever be able to say they didn't see you.
The GTS-X makes a bold statement in this season's latest fashion shade, copper orange metallic, with special Overfinch front bumper and LED daytime running lights, while you make all the right passing moves on lowered suspension, 380mm drilled and ventilated Brembo brakes and 22” forged-alloy rims, shod with low-profile rubber.
The interior is lined in premium nappa leather with orange stitching and carbon-fibre trim, special floor mats and monogrammed sill plates, just to remind you how special you are before you get out to face the paparazzi.
Prices start from £147 500 (R1.9 million), but then, as Mario Balotelli so charmingly puts it, the customers this distinctive vehicle is aimed at are rich; they don't need to talk about money.
Watch the promotion video: