The fight against gender-based violence continues with different organisations stepping up to find ways to curb the matter that has become prevalent in South Africa.
With 16 Days of Activism having kicked off, Dr Ntombifikile Mtshali, CEO of a non-profit organisation Shout-It-Now, suggests that we need to shift our efforts to younger men and boys.
“There is an isiZulu proverb “umuthi ugotshwa usemanzi” which translates to “you have to bend the stick while it is still wet”.
Mtshali explains that the experiences of boys in their childhood will influence the men they become.
“This is why we need to consider the behaviours they are exposed to and the conversations we are having with them, while there is still time to shape their thinking and influence their actions.
“Boys are products of their cultural environment and in South Africa, these immediate environments are often violent. Watching the actions of fathers, father figures, role models and mentors in their own homes, boys will then replicate these behaviours. We are shocked when they act inappropriately but that is precisely the bar that we have set for them. What is the calibre of role models these young boys are taking reference from? Are these the men we would entrust with our daughters, younger sisters, and nieces?”
She further points out that when we raise boys and girls differently, we reinforce that genders are not equal and therefore not worthy of the same respect.
To usher in a new generation of South African men who are masculine in a positive, sensitive and accountable way, she says people need to start having honest and frank conversations with young men and boys.
“There is a lot of work to be done and the starting point is in our own homes. It is the essential duty of parents and guardians to lead by example, so children mimic good and acceptable behaviours, and it is key that they address gender-based violence head-on. Talk about what contributes to violence against women and girls, male privilege and toxic masculinity, what sexuality and consent mean, and gender roles and family dynamics,” said Mtshali.
“As the mother of two boys, I firmly believe in having open conversations that cover all topics, even the uncomfortable ones. These ongoing exchanges do not only relate to how men and boys treat women and girls, but also to how stereotypes and inequalities are addressed.
“By giving them the space to talk about what they observe, how they feel and how they respond, they self-realise that exclusion based on someone’s beliefs, sexual orientation, gender or race is incorrect. As soon as you deem a person ‘different’, you are disempowering them and that perpetuates the cycle. The lesson to teach is that it is not just how you treat women, it is how you treat all people from all walks of life as equals and worthy of the same level of respect.”
The Star