My one-man investigation into Springbok rugby has turned up a startling gem of information, so important a discovery, that all the pieces in the puzzle have now fallen into place and the findings are complete.
The nugget was hidden halfway down a newspaper dispatch from Dublin yesterday and this is what it said: "Most of the players have had their wives and girlfriends with them on tour since they arrived in Toulouse two weeks ago. Considering the lengthy injury list, training has been sporadic and instead of drilling their tired bodies, coach Peter de Villiers has opted to allow the squad to enjoy the country in the company of their loved ones."
Crikey, so that's it! The Springboks' year-end tour is not a rugby assignment at all but a holiday in such places as Toulouse, London, Rome and Dublin. This is not a test of mind and body, in which weary warriors fight the effects of ongoing fatigue and pain against the vicious northern Hun, but a nice little way of exploring Europe.
Not only that, but some players have obviously been permitted to have both their wife and their girlfriend in tow.
Now it has been a long-standing observation that blokes on a social excursion are a pretty rudderless bunch if they are not accompanied by wives or girlfriends. There is a stability that only a female can bring to such things and for that they are admired for making the world a better place.
But a bunch of blokes on a business assignment are focused enough without having the womenfolk along. In fact, it has been shown that bods on business are incapable of juggling more than one bun in the air at a time and often do not close the deal if side-tracked by their better halves.
That's why the next paragraph in the all-revealing report left me aghast. In trying to justify the players enjoying the country in the company of loved ones, the reporter writes: "The advantage of having such an experienced and composed group of players is that they're able to 'switch on' when they need to."
The reporter was clearly fed that piece of hogwash by the team management after the match against Italy rather than the one against France, the point being that there are only two real matches on this tour - the first against France and the last against Ireland. Whatever happened in between is trifling and it is now vital that the Boks beat the Irish to balance the limp loss to the French.
You could say that now is the time to go to war, and leave the loved ones at home.