Struggling with loneliness this holiday? Unlock these expert tips to transform your season

The holiday season is often thought of as a time for joy, laughter and celebration.

However, behind the lights and parties, loneliness is quietly becoming the dominant holiday emotion for millions of single adults around the world.

In South Africa, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) and other experts have warned that, contrary to the "joyful" image of the season, there is a dark side to the holidays.

Historically, suicide rates in South Africa peak during December and January, with research showing that 1 in 5 suicides occurs during this two-month festive period.

Dr Michael J. Salas, a counsellor and founder of Vantage Point Counseling, highlights that the holiday season can bring hidden emotional pressure for single adults. 

"For many single adults, the holidays become a mirror that reflects loneliness back at them. There’s more comparison, more pressure, and more time to think. When you’re already feeling disconnected, December can amplify that in a way that feels overwhelming," he explains. 

Signs of holiday loneliness

• You feel drained after gatherings, even when nothing "bad" happened.
• You avoid invitations because the thought of being the only single person feels uncomfortable.
• You ruminate at night, replaying past relationships or imagining what the holidays "should" look like.
• You compare yourself to others more often, especially couples and families on social media.
• You feel anxious leading up to the holidays, not just during the actual events.

Ways to overcome holiday loneliness

While the holiday season can be tough, there are ways to manage feelings of loneliness. Here are some therapist-backed tips to beat those blues:

• Create your own traditions instead of waiting to be invited into someone else’s.
• Plan intentional social time, even small check-ins with trusted friends or support networks.
• Practice self-compassion to help quiet the inner critic during the holidays. This means treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
• Limit emotional overload, like scrolling through relationship-heavy holiday content on social media.
• Invest in restorative activities, such as hobbies, movement, therapy or journaling, to fill your time with something grounding.

Salas points out that loneliness during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re missing something; it means you’re human.

"People think connection starts with another person, but for many singles, it begins with rebuilding the relationship they have with themselves. Once that foundation feels steady, the season becomes far less painful and a lot more meaningful."

If you or a loved one needs help, contact: 

• SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567.

• Cipla Mental Health Helpline: 0800 456 789.

• Substance Abuse Helpline: 0800 12 13 14.

• WhatsApp Chat: 087 163 2030 (SADAG).