Building Strong Families – A Solution to the Gender Based Violence Epidemic

In South Africa, too many children learn about fear before they learn to read. By age five, 83% of children have witnessed or experienced violence.

 It happens at home or in their neighbourhoods, and its scars show up even before primary school. For decades, mothers have borne this burden alone, shielding kids as best they can. While fathers have always cared deeply, their role was frequently limited to financial support, leaving them disconnected from the daily routines and emotional growth of their children.

As the 16 Days of Activism 2026 campaign launches, one truth stands out: fatherhood starts from the very first day and is rooted at the core of family life. The earliest years - from birth to age eight - are vital for a child’s growth and well-being. Support and prevention cannot be postponed until they are older; it must begin in infancy, in the playroom, and in the simple, everyday experiences of childhood.

One groundbreaking initiative is showing how engaged fatherhood can transform families. Sesame Workshop International South Africa (SWISA) the home of Takalani Sesame’s Transforming Gender Norms programme invited 1,200 biological and social fathers to step off the sidelines and onto the playmat with their young children.

Over 12 weeks, these men learned to play, read, and bond with children aged birth to 8. An independent evaluation found that fathers became more confident and joyful in parenting, and they spent more time in meaningful interactions with their children.

Notably, time constraints remained a challenge – 71% of fathers initially cited “lack of time” as a key barrier – but the project made play feel possible and rewarding for fathers. In short, it proved that even busy fathers can find ways to be present once they see the benefit.

The impact was twofold: children thrived, and stereotypes crumbled. Children started seeing fathers as a real playmate. Young children who used to run to their mothers by default began to eagerly include fathers in their games. At the same time, rigid gender roles in the home began to soften.

Mothers and fathers were more likely to agree that “girls can play with cars and boys can play with dolls,” embracing the idea that chores and play aren’t automatically “for mothers” or “for fathers”. In households where fathers engaged, girls kicked soccer balls with fathers, and boys baked pretend cakes with fathers, all with giggles and confidence. This is social change, happening on the living room floor.

Importantly, involved fatherhood also started to foster true co-parenting. Many fathers in the study reported feeling more supported by their partners as they stepped up at home. Yet tellingly, mothers did not report a similar increase in support – a reminder that real partnership is a two-way street.

Fathers must not just “help” mothers but fully share the load so that mothers also feel backed up and less alone. The goal is a mutually beneficial rhythm: a family where both parents support each other and the children reap the rewards.

When fathers share parenting from the start, the whole family wins. Research shows that when violence or neglect is prevented in the first years, children develop better mentally and emotionally. In fact, global experts note that interventions which reduce domestic violence and strengthen parenting skills can protect children and adults. Engaged fatherhood does exactly that.

A dad who is changing nappies, telling bedtime stories, and calming tantrums is also far less likely to be a perpetrator of violence – he’s practicing empathy and patience daily. His children grow up safer, smarter, stronger and kinder, with a model of masculinity that rejects aggression and embraces care.

His partner experiences less stress and more stability. In a country where violence has become “a normal part of growing up” for too many kids, an active, loving father can be the first line of defence.

South Africa’s National Strategic Plan on Gender-Based Violence and Femicide (GBVF) calls for a society-wide effort to end gender-based violence. Engaging fathers in caregiving is exactly that – a society-wide shift that starts in each home.

We need to scale up what works. Policymakers should invest in fatherhood programs which show proven impact. Employers should expand paternity leave and encourage father-friendly parenting workshops. Community and religious leaders can celebrate hands-on fathers and challenge the notion that child-rearing is a mother’s job alone. 

And every father – across South Africa and the African continent – must rise to the occasion. Lay aside the old harmful gender stereotypes and embrace the moments that matter, from birth through a child’s developmental years.

This is a call to action rooted in both compassion and hard evidence. Our children’s earliest years set the trajectory for life. If we want to break the cycles of violence and inequality, we start at home. We start with fathers.

A father reading a bedtime story or playing peek-a-boo might seem simple – but it’s nation-building in action. It’s how we nurture a generation that knows love instead of fear. It’s how we ensure that no child has to face the world without a protector. When fathers step up, families grow stronger. And when families grow stronger, nations heal.

Dr Onyinye Nwaneri, Managing Director of Sesame Workshop International South Africa.