Deck the halls with calm: Your guide to surviving the festive season madness

There’s a very particular kind of exhaustion that settles over South Africans in December. It’s not ordinary tiredness, it’s the bone-deep, soul-scraping, brain-fogged fatigue that comes from twelve months of surviving the G20, terrible traffic, broken traffic lights, no water, load shedding, WhatsApp groups, petrol prices, school runs, office politics, and the national emotional rollercoaster that is South African sport. I’m referring to you, Eben. 

By the time we hit the final two weeks before the festive season, we’re not just tired. We’re end-of-the-year exhausted.

And if that’s not enough, many of us are also quietly nursing something else: relationship fatigue. That subtle burnout that arrives when you and your partner have been running parallel marathons all year, occasionally high-fiving in the kitchen, and now you realise you’re about to spend a lot more time together at exactly the moment when you have the least energy left to be charming.

If you’re feeling frayed, fragile, or that you’d rather stab him than have sex with him, don’t panic. You’re normal. Here’s how to manage the last stretch before December hits warp speed.

Accept That You’re Tired, Don’t Fight It

The biggest mistake we make at this time of year is pretending we’re fine. We’re not. Everyone is running on fumes, drinking too much caffeine, and holding it together with sheer willpower and expired lunchbox snacks.

Give yourself permission to be tired. Lower the expectations. Delegate where you can. Decline invitations without guilt. Your energy is not infinite, and you will need some for December, when you are suddenly expected to cook, host, wrap gifts, socialise, and smile like a person who slept more than five hours.

Simplify Everything

These last two weeks are not the time for ambitious life decisions, complicated social engagements, or major DIY projects.

Simplify your routines:

• Eat easy meals
• Wear the same three outfits
• Let the small chores slide
• Choose convenience over perfection

You are not auditioning for a homemaking reality show. You’re trying to survive until the public holidays.

Manage Your Relationship Like Two Tired Adults (Not Two Overtired Toddlers)

End-of-year relationship fatigue is real. Both of you are drained. Both of you are overstretched. Both of you are trying not to lose your temper at the person who keeps asking, “What’s for dinner?”

Here are some sanity-saving guidelines:

• Keep conversations short and clear

This is not the season for long emotional debates. Save the Big Talks for January, when you’ve slept.

• Be kind on purpose

Just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you can’t be gentle. Small touches, small compliments, small moments of connection carry huge weight now.

• Communicate your needs upfront

“I need 30 minutes alone” is better than sulking.“I’m too tired to cook tonight” is better than burning dinner and resenting each other.

• Recognise that irritability is not personal

You’re not fighting because you hate each other. You’re fighting because it’s December and your brains are overheating.

Stop Trying to Be Festive Already

Some people start December singing carols and stringing lights like elves on espresso. The rest of us look at them and quietly plan their downfall.

If you’re not feeling festive yet, don’t force it. The pressure to be merry on cue is exhausting. You are allowed to ease into the season slowly. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. You are allowed to dread the cooking, shopping, wrapping, or hosting responsibilities.

Festive spirit isn’t a performance, it’s a feeling, and feelings need space to grow, especially when you’re drained.

Create Micro-Moments of Recovery

You don’t have time for full self-care routines you’re barely keeping your inbox under control. So focus on micro-rest:

• Sit outside for five minutes and breathe
• Listen to one favourite song
• Take a shower that lasts longer than two minutes
• Stretch while waiting for the kettle to boil
• Switch off your phone for 15 minutes

Tiny resets make a surprising difference to your nervous system.

Honour Your Boundaries Before the Chaos Begins

December’s madness comes with heavy demands: social gatherings, relatives, kids at home, year-end pressures, and forced cheer.

If you don’t set boundaries now, you’ll collapse mid-celebration like a sad, overcooked turkey.

Decide ahead of time:

• How many events you’re willing to attend
• How much hosting you’re prepared to do
• What tasks you refuse to take on
• How much alone time you need
• What budget you’re sticking to

Communicate these early, kindly, and firmly to your partner, your family, and yourself.

Reconnect Without Pressure

If your relationship is feeling worn thin, aim for gentle reconnection, not grand romance. You don’t need candlelit dinners or dramatic gestures. You need simple, quiet closeness:

• Watch something funny together
• Hold hands in the car
• Sit next to each other without talking
• Share a snack
• Go to bed at the same time

The goal is not to reignite the romance immediately — it’s to remember you’re on the same team.

Look Ahead with Compassion, Not Panic

Yes, the next few weeks will be busy. Yes, there will be stress, noise, people, heat, shopping, and too many mince pies. But you don’t have to sprint into the chaos.

Move gently. Step slowly. Give yourself permission to ease down, not gear up. The finish line of the year is close - and you don’t need to arrive there gracefully. Crawling is acceptable. Limping is expected. Being held together with coffee, dry shampoo, and blind optimism is absolutely valid.

These final weeks aren’t about perfection. They’re about survival and doing it with as much kindness and humour as you can muster.

Rest where possible. Laugh whenever you can. And remember: the world won’t end if you do less. But you might, emotionally, if you don’t.

Hang in there. The holidays are coming. And so is the nap you desperately need.