The quiet feast: Learning to be good company to yourself this festive season

The festive season can feel loud. Really loud.

From early December, there are parties, family plans, end-of-year functions, and constant reminders that everyone is meant to be busy, surrounded, and celebrating. For many people, that’s comforting and joyful.

But for others, this time of year is quiet. Maybe you’re on your own by choice. Maybe life changed. Maybe plans fell through. Either way, the silence can feel heavy.

When you’re alone at a time when togetherness is everywhere, it can feel like something is wrong with you. Loneliness feels sharper. Getting through the holidays can feel like something you just have to endure.

But what if this quiet season isn’t something to “get through”? What if it’s an opportunity to build the most important relationship you’ll ever have, the one with yourself?

This isn’t about pretending you don’t miss people or pushing down sad feelings. It’s about slowing down, being kind to yourself, and treating yourself like someone who actually matters.

Being Alone Isn’t a Failure

We’re taught that being alone over Christmas or New Year is sad or embarrassing. That’s simply not true.

There’s a big difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness hurts. Solitude, when you choose it, can be healing.

The festive season usually drains us, all the cooking, the travelling, the small talk, the family tension. When you’re alone, all that energy comes back to you. This is a chance to rest, reset, and notice what actually works in your life.

Instead of judging yourself, ask gently:

• What feels good right now?
• What drains me?
• What have I been putting off that I’d love to explore?

Think of this time as a quiet retreat, not a punishment.

Building a relationship with yourself takes the same things any good relationship does: honesty, patience, and regular check-ins.

Write things down.If your thoughts are spinning, get them out of your head and onto paper. You don’t need to write beautifully. Just write honestly.

• How do I actually feel today?
• What do I need right now?
• What story am I telling myself about being alone?

When you listen to yourself without judgement, trust starts to grow.

Be present in small moments.

Choose one ordinary thing each day, making coffee, having a shower, washing dishes and really be there. Notice the warmth, the smell, the sound. It sounds simple, but it brings you back into your body and out of your worries.

Learn to protect your energy.

You don’t have to say yes to awkward, pity-filled invitations. It’s okay to say, “Thank you, but I’m keeping things quiet right now. I’ll catch up in the new year.” Rest is not selfish. It’s necessary.

Make the Days Feel Steady

Unstructured time can make loneliness worse, so give your days a gentle rhythm.

• Morning: Move your body a little. Go for a walk. Stretch. Read.
• Afternoon: Do something meaningful, volunteer, start a small project, create something. Craft for Calm.
• Evening: Get comfortable. Cook something nice. Watch a favourite movie. Phone someone you trust.

You don’t need many people. One good conversation is worth more than scrolling through endless posts online.

Use Your Senses

Lift the mood in small ways:

• Play music that feels hopeful.
• Cook something special just for you.
• Light a candle. Use scents like cinnamon or citrus.These little things help you feel more alive and present.

Create Your Own Traditions

There are no rules. You get to decide what this season looks like.

Maybe you:

• Go for an early morning walk on Christmas Day.
• Stay in pyjamas and watch movies all day.
• Write down your hopes for the year ahead.
• Do something kind for someone else. Giving has a way of softening loneliness.

What You Take with You

Something quiet and powerful happens when you learn to sit with yourself. You stop needing the world to constantly reassure you. You start knowing what you need.

When life gets noisy again, you’ll carry this calm with you. You’ll trust yourself more, because you took the time to listen.

This festive season, let your solitude be gentle. Let it feed you instead of frightening you. You are allowed to be your own best company.

Give yourself your full attention. It may be the most meaningful gift you receive, and the new year will feel it.

Wherever you are I wish you a very blessed Christmas and Festive season. Be safe and we’ll chat again in 2026.