We have to teach our children skills to stay safe
A quote by the late Nelson Mandela. A quote by the late Nelson Mandela.
Opinion - July is the month of celebrating our beloved legend Madiba’s 100th birth anniversary.
It brings to mind one of his most profound quotes on child abuse: “Our children are our greatest treasure. They are our future. Those who abuse them tear at the fabric of our society and weaken our nation.”
Three years ago, I was conducting site visits at Early Childhood Development (ECD) centres across the country.
Our first stop was at a notorious area renowned for violent gang warfare resulting in the death of many children caught in the crossfire of ongoing gang violence.
At a single sharp, crisp clap from their teacher, children at the ECD centre were being taught to roll over and play dead. The children would immediately drop to the floor, wherever they were, and pretend to be dead. Yes, they pretended to be dead.
The sight that greeted me on my visit to some ECD centres that morning made me cringe to my soul. I was so affected I could have fallen to my knees and wept for the sheer injustice to these children.
Children under 7 years old were diligently and seriously imitating dead children. They were taught to hold their breath in case the gangster checked to see if they really were dead.
I visited many other ECD centres that day and realised that in high crime zones, this was just one of the methods of survival being taught to innocent children.
I commended the ECD practitioners for their innovative methods and resourcefulness to keep children in high gang-related violence areas alive.
While children in more affluent areas were playing with their iPhone, computer games and other technological gadgets, children in high poverty and crime zones were being taught survival techniques.
Fast-forward three years, to the recent death of little Sadia. I am reminded of the children at ECD centres being taught survival skills. It made me wonder what can we all do to ensure the safety of our children.
I immediately came up with tips for parents and a caregiver list to ensure the survival of their children in the event of a crime or hijacking. This was immediately circulated on social media the morning after the news of this tragedy.
It is sad that we have to resort to these methods to keep our children safe. Parents are left with little or no choice in this day and age of high crime and minimal protection from police.
Had little Sadia been taught survival skills, just perhaps, we would not be weeping from our souls at the loss of this innocent life - and others that are violently snatched away by crime.
My tips for all parents and caregivers to keep children safe:
* When the vehicle is stationary, unclip children’s seat belts to enable them to open the door and run to safety.
* If you have to stop, for even a short period of time, exit the car as a family. Sitting in a stationary car with children allows opportunistic criminals to thrive.
* Teach children to forward roll out of a car (preferably not a moving vehicle) in the event of a hijacking without hurting themselves.
* Teach children to be vigilant at all times.
* Train children to understand what a safe place is, even within the confines of their own car. For example, under the dashboard, behind the seat, to crouch low into the seat to avoid being caught in the crossfire during a shooting.
* Most importantly, teach and train children to exit the car and run to safety in one swift motion. Show them what safety is: behind something, for example, a big tree, shrubbery, building or any place that will offer protection.
* Carry pepper spray or Zeb oven cleaner (red can) in your car and teach children to use these safely in the event of danger if their lives are at risk. Make sure they protect themselves first by blocking their nose and mouth to prevent them from inhaling it.
* Teach children survival skills in all emergencies. In the event of a home robbery, children should also be taught survival techniques.
* Practice with and time children when teaching them survival skills.
It can be distressing to read tips on child survival. However, we have to teach children these skills. In the event of an emergency, these skills could mean the difference between life and death for children.
Communities and people transporting children need to be vigilant at all times. Make sure not to use the same route daily.
Criminals may watch their victims’ routine for a few days before attacking.
The above tips might be helpful in the event of gunfire during a hijacking, gang warfare or robberies.
We need to keep one step ahead of criminals and equip women and children with key survival techniques. This also applies to children who are subject to sexual crimes. We need to teach children how to respond, should they find themselves in situations that make them uncomfortable or threatened.
Family members, friends, teachers and community members can aid children who are being sexually abused if they understand how to detect the signs.
If a child is exhibiting any of the following behaviour, make it your business to find out more and help that child:
Extreme anger and irrational behaviour; cutting parts of their body; become very quiet, so silent that they appear to be “walking dead”; signs of fear in the presence of particular male figures, be it a family member or stranger; uncontrollable shaking; bed wetting; and rashes and infections in genital areas.
These are just some of the signs one can observe in children who are being sexually abused.
I firmly believe all women and children should be taught self-defense techniques to protect themselves in any crisis situation.
Whatever the mechanism, we have to start actively teaching children from Grade R to understand threats and how to respond to threats in a calm and practical manner to save their lives.